Christmas sucks..

It's been awhile since the last time I feel the need to let off some steam here...
Today is Christmas and the only good thing that happened is that I get to shop for presents for my parents with my dear sister...
Yeah..the only gift I get this year is from my boss..
and yeah..I'm close to tears at this very moment thinking how miserable I am...
but I'm not complaining (or maybe I am)...I dunno what I'm talking about..
I don't really think that I'm lonely..but I've realized I always say something like "you don't care about me at all" to those close to me..family...friends...people thought I was joking..but that was my exact thought at that time...I am alone in my own mind...
People.....people whom I love and love me the same...are insensitive to my feelings...to my true nature...
No matter what they say...they only know me skin deep..and I don't blame them because they know me for only what I choose to show..
The loneliness that I tried to ignore caught up to me again...and yet..I don't really care if I end up alone by the end of my life...

I truly believe in love but one thing I believe more is "勉强没幸福"
I won't force myself ever again in a relationship..
there's enough of that in the past...so from now on..enough is enough...nothing more..
there's no need to let my heart bears anymore scar..

...I'm tired..both mind and body...
been having constant headache for these few days...
maybe I just need a rest...

Signing off,
KadenSingh....*